You can probably guess what the very worst diet is, and yes I know that “worstest” isn’t a word. Tuesday night I went to bed feeling fine but sometime during the night I woke up with a funny feeling in my stomach that soon was far from funny. I’ll spare you the details but the toilet and I were best friends through the night and into the morning hours. That was three days ago and I’m still not eating.
Yesterday I managed a couple of popsicles and by bedtime I thought I felt well enough to eat a Klondike bar. Big mistake. I had heart burn the rest of the night and felt nauseous all over again. Today I’ve had a couple of crackers and a few bites of soup.
It occured to me that I had been wanting to lose five to ten pounds and since I haven’t been able to eat, I’m sure I’ve lost at least a couple, but man o man, this isn’t the way I wanted to lose them!
Besides the fact that I have no appetite (even cheesecake doesn’t sound good—-hang up that phone! Do not call Donnie Butler yet!) I also have no energy. Just getting dressed is a major event.
I have missed three days of work and not been able to play with Abby. Tonight I even missed a ballgame (I said do NOT call Donnie Butler yet–for those of you who don’t know Donnie is the local mortician—who once called my house at 6 in the morning and scared me to death (pun) because he’s the last person you want to have wake you up from a deep sleep with a phone call. He was calling to tell me my dog was at his house. I wanted to say, “Donnie, it’s six in the morning. I don’t care if my dog is on your roof. I’ll come and get him when I get up.” But I didn’t.
Anyway, back to my story. I couldn’t go to the ballgame so I got the computer and got ready to log onto the radio web site to listen and low and behold the internet was down! I was here by myself, mad, frustrated and still feeling sick. I finally gave up on the computer and went in search of a radio. I guess when we moved we haven’t unpacked radios because there wasn’t one anywhere. I called my husband at the ballgame, hoping he’d have a suggestion. “I’ll call you back,” he said. “They are playing the National Anthem.” Big help he was. Time was running out. The game was about to start and I wanted to hear it! I grabbed my son’s truck keys, my bathrobe and ran outside in the 20 degree weather barefooted to his truck. By the end of the first quarter the Hornets were ahead, the truck was warm, and I’d curled up semi comfortably in the front seat. At half time I decided to play Let’s Hunt the Radio again. Believe it or not I found one in a drawer complete with earplugs. I took my bathrobe off and crawled back into the bed. Half way through the third quarter the battery went dead. Thank goodness Murphy (my neurotic cocker spaniel) can not repeat human words. He merely looked at me, sighed, and went back to sleep. Luckily I found a battery by the fourth quarter and I am happy to say the Hornets won! Monday night is the district tournament and I’m feeling a win!
Go Hornets! Go Hornets! Excuse me for a moment please. I have to go, if you know what I mean.