I spent my summer vacation at basketball camps. Why would someone my age want to go to basketball camp? Because my boys are there of course. This week I’m in Richmond, Indiana watching boys from all over America improve their shooting skills. Another reason I’m here is because of something that happened four or five years ago. You see I’ve been to this camp before. I brought son number two here and left him, drove back to Kentucky only to get a phone call the next morning informing me he’d been hit in the head and possibly had a concusssion and was on his way to the emergency room. It was a very long drive back to get him and one I vowed I would not repeat. So here I am with sons number 3 and 4 at the Holiday Inn, five miles down the road from camp and I’m so glad I came.

My nephews are here too and this morning the youngest got his glasses smashed. I was able to drive over, fix them, get him breakfast (he couldn’t see to go eat at the cafeteria) and get him to camp on time. His mother, of course, was a basket case when she called me and said, “He’ll never go that far away from home again without me!” I totally understand.

My sweet daughter Rachel came with me and she’s been a wonderful Assistant Mom. While I am working on this blog she took the boys back to camp and let me have a few hours down time. It’s been a busy three days. One of the twins has a sore ankle and I’ve been icing it for him, as well as giving him Tylenol. I’ve made so many trips from the hotel to camp and back that I think I could drive the route blind folded (don’t worry I won’t). Rachel and I have supervised swim time, meal time and fetched gatorades and candy bars. It’s been a blast but tomorrow it’s time to go home.

I know I won’t be as tired and sore as the boys are, and I know I’ve enjoyed camp more than they have because I just watched….they worked hard. Would I do it again…in a heart beat. My babies are juniors in high school this year. My oldest nephew is a senior. I hope we’ve made some memories this week that years from now they will remember fondly. I know I have.

I am a teacher. I’m no longer in the classroom, but I was until February of this year. I say that because I want folks to know that even though I am a teacher I don’t agree with a lot of things that go on in education. We wouldn’t expect a doctor to agree with everything that goes on in the medical field, would we? But if that doctor was unqualified or did something wrong, we would expect consequences. Tell me why then 700 teachers in New York getting paid to do nothing?

If this isn’t evidence of how messed up unions and the tenure system is, I don’t know what is. The article is on Yahoo today so if you don’t believe me you can read it for yourself. These teachers are sent to rubber rooms and are there playing scrabble, painting, or surfing the web. Some of them have been doing this for years. Unbelievable!

I don’t know whether or not these teachers are really unfit for the classroom but here is something I do know….tenure for anyone in any job is ridiculous. I can’t help but think that the rest of the working world looks at the teaching profession and wonders how we get away with this because they would like to have the same archaic system.

All over America people are losing there jobs and I sympathize with them. I have friends and family in this position and it’s tough, but come on people….getting paid to do nothing?  I know it’s wrong to criticize until we walk a mile in someone elses shoes (or sit with them in a rubber room) but I don’t see how anyone can keep taking a pay check for doing absolutely nothing.

If tax payers in New York aren’t outraged and motivated to do something about this, then shame on them. It’s time someone somewhere stood up and took teacher’s unions to task. They are an embarrassment to an honorable profession.

I always thought it was fun to spell Mississippi, so many repeat letters, I guess. It’s definitely more fun to spell it than it is to drive there. We just got back from taking the twins to ball camp at MSU and other than the long drive, we had a great time. I told my Facebook friends that the s’s in Mississippi stood for steam, sauna, sizzle and sweat. To which one of my friend’s replied, “Well then the “t” in Kentucky must stand for “take cover” and “Tornado.” Truthfully there isn’t much difference in the temperature there and here. It was in the high 90’s there and the same is true here as well.

The ball camp was intense. I went to one session and felt extremely guilty for sitting on my rear while the boys were working so hard sweat was spraying (there’s another s word) off them. There were about 25 boys at the camp and even though it just lasted one and a half days it was non-stop. The boys enjoyed it and really liked Coach Stansbury, as well as his assistant coaches. They came home tired, sore and a little less naive about what playing at the next level of basketball would be like.

As for me, my favorite things about the trip were watching the boys get a step closer to their dream. Watching their dad watch his boys. Hanging out at the pool with a good book. Eating at Ruby Tuesdays (yes I had cheese cake) and having the boys all to myself in a car for a long road trip. There are advantages to long distance trips with teenagers. They can’t escape your presence in a car!

My son just left to take his three year old daughter fishing. It’s hot and humid outside and the weeds will be full of bugs and itchy things. I don’t think Abby will get near a fishing worm and I know my son won’t let her near the edge of the pond because he’ll be afraid she’ll fall in. With all of this adversity you might wonder why bother to go fishing? Why not just stay home in the air conditioning where it’s cool and let the fish live to see another day?

I suspect the fish are safe, but there is a good reason to take your daughter fishing (even if she is only three). It’s called “making memories.” Abby may not remember much about fishing with daddy, but I know my son will remember fishing with her. How do I know this? Because I remember all the things I did with him when he was a little boy. Some of them were fun and some didn’t work out the way I planned, but I have a whole heart full of memories.

Now that little boy is a grown man with a little girl of his own and together they are making memories. Even if Abby doesn’t catch Nemo (her personal mission) I suspect they’ll have fun because they love each other and enjoy spending time together.

Have I told you that I love being a nanna? It’s one of the best blessings in life. Do I hear an “amen” to that, ladies?

I went to the gym yesterday to see how my seventeen year old boys were doing as coaches. Every year the school hosts a basketball camp for children. There’s a girls camp in the morning and a boys in the afternoon. The varsity team members are coaches and the children are assigned one coach who is in charge of them. Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time at this camp. When the boys were young I’d take them and stay and watch. Now my years of camp are almost over. Russell and Grant are juniors this year. One more year and the only camp I’ll attend will be with grandchildren, that’s hard to believe.

I had no idea how my big boys would be around so many little boys. The only small child they are ever around is my granddaughter and she’s almost four. Seeing my big six foot seven twins coaching such tiny basketball superstar wannabes was amusing. It’s so obvious how much the young children look up to the varsity players (literally too) that I found myself smiling at their antics.

When I asked the boys how they liked coaching the little ones they rolled their eyes and said they’d be glad when camp was over. Seventeen year old boys are not the most patient people in the world but it’s great to see them learning. Even though they act like they aren’t enjoying it, I suspect they can tell how much the little boys admire them. 

I left camp feeling better about things. Regardless of what they had told me, they were doing a good job. I also came away amazed by how very fast little boys grow up. It seems like yesterday that Grant and Russell were campers, now they are coaches and soon the high school years will be over. I can’t slow time down so I guess I’ll just do my very best not to miss a single minute of their last two years.

I am a small town girl, as I recently stated in my Kentucky Living column

http://www.kentuckyliving.com/article.asp?articleid=2587&issueid=325, but even small town girls can be lured away by big city lights. When I graduated from high school in 1974 (my goodness I am old!) I could not wait to leave my little town behind. I went to college in a larger city, then moved to a huge city (Atlanta), met and married my husband, moved to a smaller city, and finally moved back home. Those experiences were jam packed with adventures; some good, some bad. My car was broken into in Atlanta and my purse stolen. Bill had a Volkswagon and thiefs took the hood off of it while it was parked right outside his aparment. The traffic in Atlanta was horrible. It took me an hour to drive ten miles to work and if it snowed or iced, normal drivers turned into kamikaze maniac drivers!  There were good restaurants, great places to shop and best of all I was living with my college buddies and experiencing the heady taste of young independence.

So I understand the appeal of city lights and I shouldn’t have been surprised when one of my own children felt the calling, packed his bags and left this week. He and two of his friends drove to Las Vegas. They stopped in Memphis and had barbeque at a well known restaurant. He called from Arkansas, then again when they got to Texas. I got a text message from New Mexico and finally a phone call this morning saying “we made it!”  (Thank you Lord, that’s one prayer answered, several to go.)

“It was totally dark when we arrived and we popped up over a hill and there below was Las Vegas. I’ve never seen so many lights,” he said.

Ahhh, the lure of those big city lights. What will he find on his adventures? Will he learn like I did that beneath all that glitter there are many piles of cow manure? Will he come to value wide open spaces and stillness as opposed to noise and the constant bumping of bodies? Will he tire of expensive restaurant food and miss his momma’s lasagna? Maybe, maybe not.

One things for sure, his mother misses him beyond measure and loves him unconditionally. She also understands the lure of those big city lights.

My little girl turned 25 this weekend. I remember the day she was born so clearly. My mother had taken our son to a friend’s birthday party. Bill and I were on our way to the hospital and I was daydreaming about the baby that was about to make an entrance into the world. I wanted a little girl so badly, but I was afraid to think it because I knew I would love a boy too. I even went so far in my thoughts as to wish she’d have dark curly hair. We didn’t have to wait very long for Rachel to be born and to say I was thrilled would be an understatement. My mom was thrilled too. “Now we have one to put ruffles on!” she exclaimed.

I know every mother thinks their baby is beautiful but I knew instantly that God had sent me the most beautiful baby in the universe. I got exactly what I asked for (except for the curly hair–it was straight as a stick). Now, 25 years later, Rachel is a beautiful young woman. She married the love of her life last year and now I have someone else to love, my son-in-law Gabe.

Just like her mom, grandmother and aunts and cousins, Rachel loves children and is a teacher. I couldn’t be more proud of her if she was president of the United States.

Happy Birthday sweetheart! My daughter and now my best friend!

Mom

Did you ever suddenly wonder just how you got where you are? Have you ever been driving and before you know it you have arrived at your destination with no memory of last several miles? My guess is it probably happens to us all from time to time. Kind of scary to think that the car you just met on the road may have someone driving it whose mind is a million miles away, isn’t it?

Lately I’ve been having the “wonder how I got here?” thoughts about my life. I’ve been married for nearly thirty years to the love of my life. I have five mostly grown children (I think the twins are finished growing. At six foot seven if they get much taller we will have to raise the door frame at church). I have a beautiful granddaughter and I’m hoping for another grandchild sometime in the not too far future (hint, hint Rachel and Gabe). I have a job I enjoy. My family enjoys good health and I’m grateful for all my blessings, but sometimes I feel like I sneezed, blinked my eyes and landed where I am now.

I look at pictures of the children when they were young and remember how many times my mother said, “Treasure these moments it will go so fast.”  I knew she was right but I didn’t realize that she meant faster than the speed of light. At times it feels like my life has been a roller coaster full of ups and downs, unexpected curves, thrills and chills. I know that the ride can’t and won’t last forever and I find myself looking over my shoulder and wondering just how I got where I am.

I look in the mirror and the same face I’ve been seeing for fifty two years stares back at me. Only now there are lines and wrinkles that no amount of face cream is going to erase, no matter how much it costs or what the commercials promise it will do.

I have a good life. I’ve been given so many blessings then when we sing the song “Count your blessings name them one by one” at church I know I couldn’t possibly count them all. So instead of worrying about when the roller coaster ride of life will end, I try to stay focused on what a good ride it’s been and give thanks to God for allowing me this experience called “life” that is a mere blip on the radar screen of eternity.

Sometimes my job is really fun. I’m a grant writer at a small school district and recently I was able to obtain a grant that paid to bring some local musicians to the high school to talk to the kids about why they should stay drug and alcohol free. One of the guys in the band (Rufus Huff) and I went to high school together. He’s an awesome guitarist and also plays with the Kentucky Headhunters. The concert was yesterday afternoon and it was so much fun to see the kids enjoy the music and hear the message, “Yes, you can have fun without drugs and alcohol!”

After the concert I asked my boys what they thought. “They were really cool. How is it you know this guy in the band, mom?”

I could tell by their inquisitiveness that they just didn’t understand how their mother could know a long-haired musician who is a hard core rock and roller. The truth is I knew several long-haired rock and rollers. Richard and Fred Young are members of the Headhunters group too and I went to school with them. Their sister, Mary Jane, was a good friend of mine as well. Richard and I started guitar lessons with the same teacher at about the same time. As it turned out Richard had the talent and the persistence to learn to play and I didn’t.

I understand my sons disbelief. They find it impossible to see me as a young girl with long hair, bell bottoms and tie dyed shirts. They didn’t know me when I went to “boogys” (our name for concerts). They weren’t even thought of when I was attending Black Oak Arkansas and Lynard Skynard concerts.

 I didn’t know my husband when he was in high school but he says he had a ponytail and played keyboards for a band up in Michigan. I have a hard time picturing him with a ponytail but not on the keyboards. Bill loves music and often seranades me on the piano.

Music really is a universal language. It speaks to the hearts and souls of all who can hear. Each generation thinks that their generation invented rock and roll, but the truth is it has been around a very long time and will continue to thump and twang its way merrily into the future….as Buzz Lightyear would say, ”To infinity and beyond!”  

The woman who started Mother’s Day hated what happened to it; the commercialism. I agree with her. The idea of having a holiday just so merchants can sell us coffee cups that say “I love Mom” doesn’t really do much for me. However the idea of honoring moms does appeal to me, and I know so many that deserve some sort of award that I’ve decided to mention just a few of them here.

Denise is a teaching buddy who is divorced and remarried. Her two sons have what I consider serious health issues. One is a diabetic and one is asthmatic. Because I taught next door to her I overheard a lot of what went on in her classroom and I can testify that she is one awesome teacher. She works hard. She works late and weekends. She loves and respects every child in her classroom and she doesn’t cut corners. She loves her husband and her children and she is an awesome mother. She manages to juggle their health issues and a fulltime career beautifully.

Mary Lenita is another teaching friend. She is actually a retired teacher who came back to work part time and does such a good job that the staff doesn’t want her to ever retire for good! Her two children are grown and are successful members of the community. She has granddaughters that she hosts makeup parties and sleep overs for. But the thing that impresses me the most about her is the loving way she cares for her own mother. Her mother is in her nineties and pretty much homebound. Mary Lenita sees that she is never left alone. She takes her to all her medical appointments and lovingly checks on her through out the day each and every day.

Jessie is a friend from church who is raising three of her granddaughters. They have lived with her since they were very young. Jessie is about my age, maybe a few years older (I am 52) and she parents and grandparents with a gusto that leaves me tired. The girls are at church every Sunday morning and Sunday night and Wednesdays. They attend every school function and they are growing into fine young ladies.

Gina is a buddy from way back. She has two children and a step-son who adore her, but the reason I mention her here is because we share something in common. Gina’s mother has cancer. When your mom has cancer it is a life changing experience. If that wasn’t enough of a battle, Gina has faced cancer as well. Gina’s heart is the size of Texas and while it hasn’t been easy for her, she has handled her own health issues and those of her mom with dignity and grace. If I had a magic wand I would wave it over my friend’s life and “fix” all her problems, but I can’t so I keep her close in prayer.

And then there is Gaye; sweet, kind, loving Gaye.  For the past year her husband has been fighting cancer the way a prize boxer fights a bigger, fierce and very scary opponent. Her life has turned into a rollercoaster ride that would terrify the faint of heart. Her four sons have rallied round her and the whole community is cheering them on as they do their best to take one day at a time and enjoy even the smallest victories. A year ago mowing the yard seemed like such a mundane thing, but now when her husband is able to mow the yard or wash his truck, Gaye stands at the window and offers prayers of thanks and gratitude to the God who she knows is watching over her. In addition to her loving support of her husband her only grandchild has a heart condition and the possibility of more surgery looms in the future. Gaye’s job at the local Chamber of Commerce keeps her in the public eye and while she occasionally shows her human side (she wore two different colored shoes to work one day this week) most of the time she is such a polished professional that she amazes us all. We love you Gaye!

I can’t close without mentioning my own mother. Shirley Demumbrum Bell. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. Not a Mother’s Day goes by that I don’t shed a tear for her, but I’ve learned to celebrate her life in my heart and I know that would make her happy. No mother wants their children to mourn them forever. Miss them, yes. Mourn them, no. Mom was an amazing woman but I know that the best way I can thank her for the wonderful job she did is by being a good mom and grandmother to my children and grandchildren.

Mother’s Day is really about love. Mom’s give their children love and ask them to pass it on. Happy Mother’s Day to all my “Mom Friends.”  I love you and you are awesome. Moms Rock!!!!